31 January 2007

"Two legs good, two wheels better," chant the sheep

This morning, like most mornings, I rode my bike to work. It's my not-so-secret weapon in the Union College faculty and staff wellness competition. Between the high winds and cold, it took twice as much time to get to work than it did this summer. After I got to the office, the snow started coming down.

Most of this winter I've been trying to avoid biking in the snow. I didn't think it was as safe as walking. That is, until lunch time.

Tanya and I are developing habits and one of them is lunching at her place on Mondays and Wednesdays. So, around 12:20 I was on my way down Prescott to dine on tasty black bean chili and quesadillas. Crossing a street, I stepped on extremely slick ice cleverly masked by snow. My right ankle turned left, my knee turned right, and I sat on top of them both.

It hurt a lot at first and then I realized the cracking sound I'd heard (and on which I based my rationale for being in pain) was the ice and not my bones. I got up and hobbled along. By the time I got to Tanya's, I'd decided I hadn't done any permanent damage. I don't think I even sprained it. And yet it's kind of a dull pain all the time and a sharp pain when ascending or descending stairs.

That's not really the point though. Tonight I worked until 8:30, partly because I have plenty to do, partly because it's a Tanya and Scott space night, and mostly because I didn't really want to ride home with the awkward ankle and the snow, ice and wind.

Finally I did leave and got on the bike with some trepidation. And it was great.

It's amazing how much traction a bike actually has on snow and ice. I slid a lot less on my two wheels than on my two feet. It just goes to show that sometimes I'm wrong.

But please, don't tell anyone.

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19 January 2007

The heartbreak of adult acne

Figure 1: Artist's depiction of Scott and Ellen.
Note the accurate paleness of Scott's skin and the huge zit.

Right in the middle of my forehead, something is growing. I'm becoming a frakking unicorn.

I'm just glad Ellen and her taxidermy dreams are a couple states away.

In a culture that pines after youth, I had hoped that age would at least give me the advantage of clear skin. Nope. Frakking unicorn.

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14 January 2007

Schemes set to music

I've got a song stuck in my head. It's the tune of "Hal-la-la-la-la-la-le-lujah," which happened to be a Pictionary word from earlier this evening at Ashley B's birthday party. The word, however, has evolved into, "Ono-ma-no-ma-no-ma-topoeia," which is actually quite a tongue twister to sing.

Meanwhile, I'm not sold on the "advantages" of Windows Vista, but Microsoft's marketing team has again showed they're the more intelligent arm of the corporation. They hired Demetri Martin to subtly pitch the product. I can spend hours on this site before getting bored or brain numb. Indeed, not long ago Tanya and I did spend an extended period of time listening to it.

On another technology front, it's amazing what a good dusting can do for a computer. My laptop has a crappy Prescott core Pentium 4 (world-renown for running hotter than hades and crashing), which means the fans must spin constantly and I can't set it flat on anything for fear of blocking the air intakes. Recently the fans had gotten so loud you could hear them in the next room and I was sure the system would die soon. So, today I dusted. It's purring rather than hacking and wheezing now. I'm still not happy with Intel or Toshiba for selling this crap, but I'm much happier with the crap itself. It's always hard to believe that a low-tech solution like dusting can improve the quality of life for such a high-tech gadget.

And finally, with my birthday just a month away (exactly), I want to say if anyone out there is looking for a way to dispose of $600+, I'm currently in techno-lust with Apple's iPhones and Benq's 24-inch monitors. I don't really need either of them, but that's not the point. For those of my readers looking to spend significantly less than that, please no tea. I love tea and appreciate it; I even nearly ran out before Christmas. However, now I have more tea than I can deal with. And no Ukrainians. I'm up to my ears in Ukrainian.

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Sweet Land

If you ever have an opportunity to go see this film, do not hesitate to take it. Sweet Land is one of the best films I've seen in a while. It's beautiful, relevant, erotic without anything you'd make the kids leave the room for, and emotionally charged. Language learners and teachers will have a special relationship with it, but so will just about anyone else. You can see it at the Ross before Thursday the 18th.

And if you're more interested in staying home and having a good laugh, rent Idiocracy. It's a fun romp through a future filled with stupid people begat by stupid people. Idiocracy takes current trends in consumerism and media to their extreme conclusions with hilarious and brilliant effect. It's the brainchild of Mike Judge, the creator of Office Space, King of the Hill, and Beavis and Butthead. It never got released in theatres because it couldn't be essentialized into a marketable trailer.

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About me

  • I'm Scott
  • From Lincoln, Nebraska, United States
  • Busily carving a niche somewhere between angels and apes since 1979.
My profile

    "... if you're not on videotape, or better yet, live on satellite hookup in front of the whole world watching, you don't exist. You're that tree falling in the forest that nobody gives a rat's ass about" (Palahnuik, Chuck. Survivor). This is my performative culture; I am your dancing monkey.